


It's a Marshmallow World

by FormidablePassion



Series: Don't Ask [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 1860's, And the loosest term of moons over my hammy you will find, Cannibalism, Dehydration, Diary/Journal, Donner Party AU, Every single person is a marshmallow, Gen, If you've read the tags this far and understand that, Implied Consensual Underage Sex (17/adult), Marshmallow People AU, Migrating to California, So be sure you understand that going forward, Starvation, The loosest term of Denny's you will ever find, This is My Design, You're Welcome, be prepared, but they are there, cause this is a marshmallow world, i'm not even sorry, implied rape, implied underage rape, this is my legacy, yes you read that correctly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 00:02:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13064949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FormidablePassion/pseuds/FormidablePassion
Summary: 17 year old Hannah was full of life and excited for what was coming next. Despite her mothers death she and her father looked forward to their new lives in California.When they left their home they knew the long travel wasn't going to be easy. But they never knew that it would be this hard. Getting trapped in by snow, unable to get through the mountains to Sutters Fort, Hannah learns a lot of truths about herself when she is put to the test.





	It's a Marshmallow World

**Author's Note:**

> This is indeed an AU where all the characters are not human. They are marshmallow people. I marked the graphic depictions of violence because of the cannibalism tag.  
> What you are about to read is very historically inaccurate. If you care about that, I'm not sorry.

April 06 1846

 

Can you believe it? It’s so exciting. My uncles are leading our group to California! They said that we will have a better life there. They keep telling us there are acres of land that we can farm on. I really hope they are right. Poppa is ready to move on. Since Momma’s death he has wanted to get out of Illinois. I don’t blame him, honest. Momma’s death was hard on all of us. He keeps telling us that he can’t live where her ghost haunts him. 

I understand that. I miss her something dearly. I know that Samandriel also misses her. We manage. Mrs. Anna tells us that she is sleeping with the angels. I’m not sure how much I believe her. But I do make sure that Sammy believes it. He deserves to believe that our mother rests with the angels. Honestly? I think, I  _ hope  _ that she has become an angel. She, above all others, deserved that. 

But the move! We are going to head to California! I am both excited and frightened by that. I don’t want to leave the only home I’ve know for the last 17 years. But the idea is one that fills me with hope. Maybe if Poppa could get away from here…

Just maybe.

Always, 

Hannah

* * *

 

April 14, 1846

 

We left today. I waited until we camped out to write. It was too bumpy on the wagon. I cried when I had to leave Mrs. Anna and Naomi. I had to cut it short though, Sammy, the little one I tended, needed me. He was sad to leave Dean and Samuel. I regaled him with stories though. He soon forgot that he was sad. 

I however did not. I am going to miss that life. I can still feel the excitement though. It is like the sparks of a campfire keep running just below my skin. This is a new beginning for us. I _know_ it is. 

I just can’t help but feel so worried about it. I’m sure it is nothing. Just me worrying. Just like Poppa tells me all the time. It will be amazing.

Always, 

Hannah

* * *

 

April 26, 1846

We stopped for a while. They sent a hunting party out to help with rations. Sammy wanted to go, but he is still too little. I don’t know why they think that. Poppa started hunting when he was 11. Sammy is 13. It doesn’t make sense. 

He was fine caring for all the animals while they were gone. I also made him a bracelet from the wildflowers that I found along the trail. He pretended to hate it but I saw him smile when he thought no one was looking. 

I can’t wait to get to California. I know it has only been twelve days since we left, but I’m just so ready to be there! I don’t know if I like travel, or change, much. 

Always, 

Hannah

* * *

May 10, 1846

We arrived in Independence! I am so excited! While everyone was cleaning up and outfitting for the next leg of the journey we met a young man named Gadreel. He was so kind. He showed us around and even sat with us at the camp fire tonight. 

He sat close to me and I really liked it. I knew that it wouldn’t be anything. I mean, I’m leaving in two days time. It is nice to know that he would be interested anyway. 

Always,

Hannah

* * *

May 12, 1846

We leave today!

* * *

 

May 19, 1846

We joined with a larger wagon train today. Poppa says that it will be better for us when it comes to survival. I don’t know why. We are supposed to be able to make it to California before the winter comes.

Always,

Hannah

* * *

May 29, 1846

Mrs. Reed’s Momma died today of consumption. Poppa wouldn’t let us anywhere near the Reeds. He said that he had to make sure we wouldn’t catch it. Said it can linger.    
They buried her under a tree near the spring. I hope she rests with the angels.

Always,

Hannah

* * *

June 27, 1846

We arrived at Fort Laramie, just in time too. I was getting to the point that I could use some space to move around.    
Poppa says we will be here long enough to celebrate Independence Day. That will be exciting. 

Always, 

Hannah

* * *

June 29, 1846

While I was bringing the wash back to hang I met a young man, maybe a couple years older than myself. His Poppa does some cooking here and if you’re willing to pay with money or trade you can enjoy a meal you don’t have to cook! 

Ben, that’s his name, brought me to his Poppa’s place. His Poppa insisted I call him Denny, I thought it odd but who am I to argue? Ben knows how to cook some so he made me a meal. He put my eggs over my ham pieces and put them both between a roll and he said it was something that was easy to eat without having to use utensils. It tasted very good and he didn’t even charge me! 

Once we realized we had stayed until well into the next day, he walked me back to our camp and asked if he might be able to see me again. I told him that we were staying at least until Independence Day. That got me a big smile. 

Always, 

Hannah

* * *

July 1, 1846

Ben told me today that his name is actually Benny, but he doesn’t like that since it rhymes with his Poppa’s name. I told him I liked it. He has a very pleasant smile that makes my insides feel tingly. 

He says he would like it if we could spend Independence Day together. I told him I would rather enjoy that. He kissed my hand. It is a shame that I won’t be able to see him after we leave. I wish there was a way that I would be able to send him a message after we arrive in California.

Always, 

Hannah

* * *

July 5, 1846

Independence Day was amazing. Benny was such a gentleman. He kissed my hand and accompanied me everywhere I needed to go. He said he just enjoyed spending time with me. He didn’t even mind when I was finishing up the last of the washing that we needed to have clean before leaving. 

He told me of his life. He told me of his dreams. He said that one day he would like to be able to travel out to California. I asked what he would do. He said that if I’d like, he could try to find me. I made sure to let him know where Poppa planned on making a home. 

I know it is silly to even hope. But if Benny does indeed come to California one day, I wouldn’t mind seeing him again. Especially if he wouldn’t mind courting me. He is such a handsome young man. 

Always, 

Hannah

* * *

July 19, 1846

Poppa said that we are going this new route that they have been talking about. Not everyone is going to follow it. So our parties have officially split up. I’m gonna miss Sammy when he leaves with his Father. Mr. Donner is taking the lead of our party. Poppa says not to worry, he says that this new route will get us there faster. 

I can’t help but worry a little. I wouldn’t mind taking the route that we already know others have taken and succeeded on. I have to trust my Poppa. We leave tomorrow. I hope it is faster. The faster we get there the faster we can settle in.

Always, 

Hannah

* * *

July 27, 1846

We arrived at Fort Bridger today. Poppa isn’t happy that we found out the guide for this new route left the previous week. He did leave a note instructing us to follow. I’m not sure that is a good idea. I’m not in charge though and Poppa keeps telling me to trust him. 

So we are staying a few days to rest the oxen and stock up what we can. I could probably wash a few things while we are here. I hope that this new trail does in fact cut off the 400 miles that Poppa was told. It would make our trip a lot faster than the others.

Always,

Hannah

* * *

August 6, 1864

We stopped today. There was a note from Mr. Hastings. It said that the road ahead was impassable. We sent two men ahead to meet with him for further instructions. This doesn’t feel right. I told Poppa we should go back the other way. He told me that we’ve already come so far that it would be a waste of our resources if we did. 

I have a very bad feeling about this.

Hannah

* * *

August 25, 1864

Mr. Luke died today of consumption. They are gonna bury him tomorrow at the crossroads. 

I still think this is a bad idea. I wish Poppa would listen to me. 

Hannah

* * *

August 30, 1864

We made camp and gathered as many resources from the land as possible. There is at least a two day drive that will be completely dry. Poppa had me filling every skin we have with water. I still don’t know if it will be enough. 

We leave today. I know I’m going to be very thirsty the next few days. 

Hannah

* * *

September 6, 1864

The water ran out completely three days ago. We still have two more days to go. I don’t know if I will survive it. My mouth feels as dry as the desert we are traveling through. I hope Sammy is all right. It is times like this that I miss Ma. She would have made sure Poppa went the well established route. 

Hannah

* * *

October 7, 1864

Earlier today Mr. Hardkoop was left sitting on the side of the trail. The wagon he was in put him out and no one else had room, or could take him. 

Sometimes I wonder if we would have been better off if we never would have taken this trip. It seems like the further from home we get the more we lose our humanity. We all left that elderly man on the side of the trail most likely to his death. For what?

To lighten a load. 

Two days before one of them men ended up stabbing and killing another man. The details are not for a young lady to know as Poppa told me. But what could possibly even lead to that? We made him leave. The man who wielded the knife took off on foot towards California. 

How have we come to this? 

Hannah

* * *

October 14, 1864

A few days ago a large portion of oxen were killed and then more stolen. The indians Poppa says. Calls them savages. I must agree. I can’t understand why they would do something like that. One of the German fellows lost almost all of his oxen so he decided to park his wagon. Two of the men decided to stay and help him, they would catch up. 

The German fellow was not with them. They said he was killed by indians. I don’t know how true that was. I don’t see indians killing all those oxen and then only killing that German fellow and leaving the other two alive. 

Something isn’t right here.

Hannah

* * *

October 26, 1864

One of the men we sent ahead to Sutter’s Fort finally arrived back! He brought oxen weighed down with resources and supplies. It was perfect timing. We are all almost out of food. I hope that he brought extra blankets. It is already starting to get really cold. 

Hannah

* * *

October 30, 1864

We had another burial today. It snowed. I hope we aren’t too far away from somewhere we can stay warm and safe. 

How many people must die on this trail? I have bore witness to more deaths in the last six months than I have in my entire seventeen years. I can’t help but imagine my life would be much different right now if Ma was still alive.

I miss her. 

Hannah

* * *

November 8, 1864

We made it to Truckee Lake. We are going to camp here for the night. We are all exhausted. We made good time. Only because the wagons are so empty. 

There is a ring around the moon tonight. They say a storm is coming. It already snowed once.  Hope that it doesn’t snow again. I would really like to make it to Sutter’s fort soon. I am so cold at night. Poppa let me use one of his skins last night to make sure I kept warm. He told me not to catch cold. I hope Poppa doesn’t catch cold. I couldn’t stand to lose him too.

Hannah

* * *

November 9, 1864

It snowed. We can’t make it out of here. We are stuck at the lake. Ma, please give us guidance. Give us a sign. They say we are going to camp here for the winter. I don’t know how. We scare have the food to survive the rest of the trip to Sutter's Fort. And they say that the snow lasts until June in these areas. What will we survive on? I hope there are more animals around here to hunt. Or at least the lake has fish in it that we can manage to catch before the lake itself freezes over. 

At least we have a bit of shelter.

Hannah

* * *

November 23, 1864

The cattle are almost all dead. We’ve been living off them. But even those won’t last forever. The group that went to see if they could pass the mountains returned, they had no luck. Things aren’t looking well. 

I also keep hearing Poppa trying to cover a cough. I hope he doesn’t get sick. I can’t go on without hm. What would I do? Please Ma, protect Poppa. Protect me. 

Hannah

* * *

November 29, 1864

All the cattle are dead. It won’t be long before the meat is all eaten. The skins will be used to keep warm. But what of our lives without food to sustain us? 

The wood is also growing scarce. Not sure how to build a fire to keep warm when we are using spare parts to the wagons that are supposed to be carrying us to California. I’m starting to hate California. I really wish it didn’t exist. I wish that I could make it just disappear. We could all be back home. 

They’re all fools. Every single one of them that are seeking out gold. Even Poppa. Doesn’t he know that no amount of money is worth this? This bone chilling cold? I can barely feel my finger tips and toes. I am worried they will turn black. I hope we can manage to make it through this.

Hannah

* * *

December 17, 1864

It’s been too cold to move, too cold to write. Things are not looking well. Several have died. There is talk to “use the resources available” to us. I think that they mean to eat the dead. 

I hope that they don’t find them under all the snow. It is the same color of our skin. And as frozen through as I feel right now, my normally soft body feels like my skin has become a shell in this weather.

I couldn’t bare the idea of them consuming my body if I were to die. Worse yet. I  _ know _ Poppa is sick  He tries hiding it from me. I don’t know how much longer he will last. God please be with us.

Hannah

* * *

December 26, 1864

Two of the young ones died yesterday. I had heard about the… about how people were feeding themselves. Today I saw it happen. Those boys were only three and four years old. I watched as the others dug their teeth into their powdery white flesh and the gooey white life blood flowed out over their mouths and chins, sticky against their own faces. If I hadn’t been frozen in terror and by the cold I would have screamed. 

Worse yet. I heard my stomach rumble. Poppa heard it too. He gave me a questioning look. I hesitated before I shook my head no. I don’t think he will give in if I don’t. How could I give in and eat a child? I don’t think God is with us anymore.

Hannah

* * *

December 31, 1864

It’s the last day of this year. I only hope that the next, if we survive, will hold better things. More and more people are starving to death. More and more people are surviving by eating those that pass on. I’m weak. My father and I finally gave in. I was so hungry. 

I don’t know how I will ever be forgiven. I couldn’t even hold back the moan as I bit into the sweet powdery flesh. It was like a hard shell then I broke through with my teeth and a burst of fluffy and sweet flavor spread across my tongue. I even lapped up the sticky lifeblood that slowly oozed, slowed by the cold, out onto my fingers and over my wrist. 

~~ It was delicious. I even caught myself thinking about how it would taste even better roasted over a fire. Watching the skin turn into a toasted brown color, tiny black bubbles where it was burned, the lifeblood being hot and flowing fast as it dripped down my chin.  ~~

I’m a monster.

Hannah

* * *

January 12, 1865

Poppa died two days ago. I suppose that my descent into the demonic throes has been complete. I didn’t even hesitate before I allowed myself and the survivors to pick at his soft, still-as-warm-as-it-could-be-in-this-weather body. We all shared. We all covered ourselves in the off-white of his creamy, sweet, delicious blood. 

One of the men was eyeing me as I licked pieces of my own Poppa off my fingers. The way his eyes lingered over my fingers as my tongue wrapped around them to be sure to clean every drop up, it was unholy. 

I had just eaten my own father. Where was I to draw a moral line. I held eye contact with him as I sucked my own father’s blood from my fingers. 

Hannah

* * *

January 26, 1865

I’ve fallen as far as I can. I’m sure that the pure sweet soul of Benny could never want me after everything I’ve done. 

Benny. Now that was a lifetime ago. Knowing what I know now, I never would have held back. 

I watch each day as the snow melts only to freeze over and have more snow, feets of it, fall from the unforgiving sky. I long ago gave up believing there was a God. If there ever was, he gave up on us a long time ago. 

H

* * *

January 30, 1865

People are turning against one another, claiming they were owed for property not paid or something of the such. Considering that we are eating one another it doesn’t surprise me that this is happening. 

I don’t think we even have any humanity left in us at this point. 

H

* * *

February 10, 1865

There has been a lot of death lately. We haven’t eaten all of them. Surprisingly. We buried a mother and child. That made me almost feel something today other than frozen through. I miss Poppa. But without him I have a better chance of survival. I think I have a good idea how to do that. We will have to see how things work out. 

H

* * *

February 18, 1865

It rained two days ago and then froze over. I am not feeling very well. I am afraid that I am beginning to take ill. As much as I hope that is not the case -- I would very much like to believe I am just managing my moon sickness -- I think otherwise. 

I fear the end is near for me. I will go on as long as I possibly can. However long that may be. This is just the beginning of this. I can’t imagine they won’t consume my flesh as soon as I’m gone. 

I must not let them know for as long as possible. 

H

* * *

February 26, 1865

I’ve fallen ill. Make no mistake. The shanty I’ve been keeping myself sheltered in hasn’t kept the worst of them from me. I’m alone. I’ve no father or brother to protect me. After the things I’ve already done willingly I suppose it was a given that they would expect to take from me, even when I’m sure I’m on my death bed. 

I fear that I will be leaving soon. It is a fear but also a prayer. I don’t think I can stand this any longer. If this is my last entry, let it be known that I am happy to meet my end. I wish the rest of the survivors the best. God be with them.

H

**Author's Note:**

> This story was created for this months SPN Coldest Hits writing challenge. If you hated (or enjoyed) this story maybe check out the blog and the other stories too!
> 
> If you enjoyed and want to come yell at me about it you can find me on Tumblr as [FormidablePassion](http://formidablepassion.tumblr.com)  
> I promise I’m nice.


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